


A Broken Soulmate

by skittles106



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 16:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15844890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skittles106/pseuds/skittles106
Summary: Each person, in their own way is a little bit broken. For some that means that each day is a struggle to not subcomb to their desires and harm themselves or give in and kill themselves while for others it means simply hiding behind a false smile. We are all broken, that's just how the light gets in.Co-creator mary_m27(Wattpad)





	A Broken Soulmate

**Author's Note:**

> For future reference '...' (apostrophes) means thoughts

As soon as I received the big news, I quickly hug Louise to hid the grimace of pain on my face. She instantly stiffens when I wrap my arms around and I can tell she’s shocked by my unusual behavior. As I rest my chin on her shoulder, I try to hold back my sigh as I realize what this means for me.

Louise has finally met her soulmate. We were the only people left in our small friend group that hadn’t met their soulmate. The first words your soulmate will say to you are tattooed on a random part of your body. Anyone I have ever met is always yearning for the day they meet their soulmate. Everyone but me. And now, I’m the only person left without their soulmate. At least with Louise we could share the feeling of aching loneliness but now I feel truly alone. I try to not let it get to me, but seeing Louise so happy and content even knowing she has found her soulmate just makes my chest constrict painfully with every congratulations I hear around us. 'I’m such a selfish friend. God, you think on the one day I should be so happy for my closest friend and celebrating I’m just wallowing in my thoughts. My fathers right, I’m such an attention-seeking whore. I’m so pathetic and useless. I’m such a waste of space. No wonder I haven’t met my soulmate they probably would be disgusted with me I don’t blame-'

“Phil? Is everything alright?” Louise asks, cutting off my usual self deprecating thoughts. I quickly recover and plaster on a convincing fake smile as I pull away from the hug. 'I have to get my shit together, I can ruin this day for her,' I realized.

“What do you mean? Of course I'm fine Louise,” I respond while rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly.

Louise knows that I only do that when I’m keeping something from her and looks at me disapprovingly.”Phil, I hate when you lie to me! Now what-“ Luckily for me a friend calls her name from across the room. “Don’t you think I’m done with you Phil!” Louise warned as she waved her finger threateningly torward me. As soon as she walked away, I let out a quiet sigh of relief. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to get out of her demanding questions anytime soon without that distraction.

I have always been envious of other people's soulmates words. They were always kind and sweet phrases such as; You look beautiful! Everyone loved their soulmates words, everybody but me. The dark black words on my pale scarred white wrist read,”You need help.”

The cruel words sting me every time I spare a glance at my wrist. Even my own soulmate can see how pathetic I am. They can see how broken I am, how wrecked I am. 

The only person that accepts me, scars and all, is Louise. She was there for me when my asshole father beat me nearly to death for the first time. Louise removed all the glass from broken beer bottles out of my gashes while trying to comfort me as I broke down on her couch. She is the only person who knows about my dad's “daily activities” at home. 

My father has been beating me for as long as I can remember. It started off with shoves and pushes and slowly moved into kicks and punches and now is getting hit with broken beer bottles and putting out cigarettes on my skin. He always is cautious hits me in the spots no one will see so he can't be caught. During his drunken rage beatings he always screams about how it was my fault my mother is gone and how I was a “mistake”. I am starting to wish it was me who died during childbirth, not my mom.


End file.
